I’m now writing for http://www.skiddle.com, a music and festival website covering all events and releases in the UK and worldwide. First album review published yesterday and reviews of three Black Sabbath Deluxe Re-releases to follow.
It seems a reasonable request to me.
Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Stumbled on this today, took me back to high school in a flash.
The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And both that morning equally lay
I shall be telling this with a sigh
I’ve always said I’d love to have my own library. The real deal, dark wood, all four walls covered in books, walkways half-way up, a metal bannister running all the way around and one of those rolling ladders able to make its way around the room.
To finish it off, all that’s required is a massive, deep chair and a fireplace. It’s all a bit colonial, but even so.
In the meantime this one would probably do. Aim for the stars and all that..
I can’t say I’m particularly well versed in philosophy and its practitioners but what I do know is that theories differ so fundamentally regarding single issues that they are almost unrecognisable.
Here is a really interesting page of quotes from Friedrich Nietzsche, a ‘cynic, a pessimist, a misanthrope’ and the proud owner of an awesome handlebar ‘tache.
If you needed any further convincing, here is scientific, concrete proof.
Just found this page submitted by a Dr. Miller, an English lecturer at an American university. What follows is a ‘tandem’ creative writing exercise gone wrong.